“Tiger” Mums in Singapore?

  I was reading this excerpt from a book “Battle hymn of the Tiger Mother” written by May Chua. It’s about the difference between how a Chinese parent and a Western parent teaches and treats their child. The writer feels that Chinese mothers are stricter and give restricted freedom to their child.You can read an excerpt from the book here. I am, after all, the product of Asian parents. When I read about this book in an article in The Sunday Times on Sunday, I got a good laugh. When I told my parents and grandma about this book, they naturally laughed and I am quite sure that they could perfectly relate to it. Of course they understood about how efficient this method is in dealing with and nurturing their children. This is my personal views.

  Singapore, as they say, is an open society, you can do whatever you want IF it is not illegal or harming. This is pretty much the opinion of Singapore parents, or more specifically, Chinese parents. Now, I was born four years after my elder sister and my parents carried out an experiment. They natured my sister on a more “westernized” form of parenting. They pretty much treated her in the Chinese form of parenting until around P5. That was the turning point. Her grades dropped, she went out till very late and had sleepovers with her friend. She had became rebellious and till today, my parents still have a hard time reigning her in. Of course, “Once bitten, twice shy”, they decided to bring me up on a stricter parenting style but still with a few tweaks.I got caned before,but I can stay out in school late and never heard them expelling any expletives at me.This is my own experience after all.so I should mention here that I can’t fully agree with what she says but I pretty much support what she says about the results of this kind of parenting. 

 Society had changed.Moral values and teachings and definitions of the past is not the ones of now. I agree that to teach a child along a strict guideline is essential,but not with an iron fist,or you'll get a revolt.Parents are changing with the wave of change over Asia,especially in Singapore,which is why many parents were unhappy with what May Chua had written as seen in The Sunday Times.Freedom is essential for a child to learn about what society is really like but restriction is needed,and the parents are thus the guides,the censors,the persons that will pull you back if you take a step out too much.The scenario that May Chua had described of teaching her child to play the piano is of deep meaning.In the western eye, it may be called child abuse, torture.But in my opinion,and perhaps the Asian's eye's view,it is a lesson,to the child that you do not give up that easily.
  I feel that  most Americans have perhaps overreacted to what May Chua had written.It seems to reflect the American point of view that Asians are cruel and evil creatures who enjoy sleaze and booze and also their firm stand on freedom of speech and rights.It kinds of contradicts their opinion that they view Asians in such a narrow-minded way and criticize the book so so much when they emphasize "freedom of speech".
  However,I am no professional caregiver,and I can't say what kind of teaching method is the best for a child.Different parents have different teaching methods that still have to be tweaked for every different and individual child.But I believe that we can learn from this book,what May Chua had said that what is perceived to be right can be wrong,and that no teaching method is foolproof.I  would say it is best to as experts say,"blend control and affection"so as to not let a child go astray but also gets the freedom and independence he or she needs.So if you're a American reading this,try to understand our culture and teaching method.Stop having the stereotype that Asians are cruel monsters that torture and mistreat a child  and stop criticizing us Asians as we are still learning from the West till today,so that one day,we can teach a child with a method that has integrated good points of both East and West methods and that our children can enjoy the best of both worlds.